Why I Set Up a Lasting Power of Attorney for My Dad — and Why You Should Too

22nd May 2025

When someone you love is diagnosed with dementia, your world shifts overnight. That was the reality for Siobhan Foster, a 41-year-old mum of two from Chelmsford, when her dad was diagnosed in 2021. At the time, she was working full-time as a primary school teacher, juggling lesson plans, parenting two young kids, and, suddenly, becoming a carer.

Then, just as they were coming to terms with his diagnosis, Siobhan’s mum passed away unexpectedly. It was a huge shock—and it quickly became clear her dad couldn’t cope on his own.

Siobhan did what so many daughters do. She stepped up. For eight months, she tried to do it all—teaching during the day, caring for her dad in the evenings, and being present for her young family. But something had to give. Eventually, she made the tough decision to leave her job and care for her dad full-time.

They even moved into his house to provide the support he needed, which meant moving schools for her children too. The situation was so intense, her kids were classed as young carers. It was a lot for anyone to carry.

Early on, doctors and memory nurses gave Siobhan a piece of advice that would prove vital: get a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) in place while her dad still had mental capacity. It sounded straightforward—but, as she found out, it was anything but.

“We had no idea what an LPA really involved,” Siobhan says. “Trying to organise it all—getting forms right, arranging signatures, and navigating legal language—while grieving and caring was incredibly stressful.”

There were setbacks too. Paperwork mistakes from their solicitor caused delays, and after her mum died, they discovered errors in the documents. They managed to get the LPA sorted just in time—but it was far more difficult than it needed to be.

Looking back, Siobhan wishes they’d done it sooner.

“If we’d set it up earlier, we could’ve included more of Dad’s wishes—where he wanted to be cared for, how he felt about life support, those kinds of things. It would have made those hard decisions a little easier for us.”

Now that her dad is in a care home, the LPA is a lifeline. Siobhan often needs to show it when speaking to banks, social workers, or hospitals. It gives her confidence. It gives her voice to speak up for her dad.

“It’s like a birth plan—but for the end of life. Everyone should have one.”

She knows not all families are as lucky as hers—she and her brother, Matt, were united in supporting their dad. But when there’s no plan in place, emotions can run high and create real conflict.

Inspired by their experience, her brother went on to found Power of Attorney Online—a service that makes getting an LPA easier, faster, and more affordable.

Siobhan’s message during Dementia Action Week is simple:

“Don’t wait. Do it now. You’ll be so glad you did.”