The Conversation Families Put Off

17th June 2026

For many people, this is The Conversation Families Put Off. It’s the discussion about what would happen if a loved one could no longer make decisions for themselves. Most families know it’s important. Many intend to get round to it eventually. Yet it often gets postponed until a health crisis really forces the issue.

Why We Avoid the Topic

To be fair, there are understandable reasons people put it off.

For some, it feels like admitting that ageing or illness is approaching. Others worry that bringing up an LPA will upset a parent or make them feel like they’re losing independence. Sometimes families simply assume there will be plenty of time later to get it in hand.

In reality, capacity can change unexpectedly through dementia, a stroke, serious illness or an accident at any point. By the time a crisis happens, the opportunity to actually create an LPA may have passed.

The Misunderstanding That Catches Families Out

A common assumption is close family members can automatically step in if someone is unable to manage their affairs.

Unfortunately, that’s more often than not the case.

Without a registered LPA, banks, financial providers and many organisations always require formal legal authority before allowing someone else to act on a someone’s behalf. If capacity has already been lost, families need to apply to the Court of Protection for a deputyship order, which is generally slower, more expensive and more restrictive than having an LPA already in place.

Why Early Conversations Are Usually Easier

An irony of all this is that the conversation tends to be much less difficult when it happens early.

When someone still has full mental capacity, the discussion is about choice and careful planning, rather than reacting to an unfolding crisis. They can decide who they trust, explain their wishes and take part in the process themselves.

Many families find that once the subject is raised cooly and calmly, it feels far less daunting than they expected beforehand.

A useful approach is to frame the discussion around preparation rather than decline. Similar to making a will or arranging insurance, an LPA is another way of planning ahead.

What Does an LPA Actually Do?

A Lasting Power of Attorney allows a person to appoint trusted individuals to make decisions if they lose the ability to make those decisions themselves at some point.

In England and Wales, there are two types. One covers property and financial affairs, and the other covers health and welfare decisions. Both need to be registered with the OPG.

Having these arrangements in place, using a service like Power of Attorney Online, can provide clarity for families and help avoid uncertainty during what is probably already a stressful situation.

Starting the Conversation

If you’ve been thinking about raising the topic, you’re probably not alone. Many families wait because they fear the conversation will be awkward or upsetting to someone they love.

In practice, it’s often a sign of care and responsibility.

The goal isn’t to take control away from someone. It’s to make sure that, if circumstances change at some point, the right people can help and decisions can be made according to the person’s own wishes.

That’s why this is the conversation so many families put off and why having it sooner rather than later can make such a difference in the long run.